Review: I Am Perhaps Dying: The Medical Backstory of Spinal Tuberculosis Hidden in the Civil War Diary of LeRoy Wiley Gresham

I Am Perhaps Dying: The Medical Backstory of Spinal Tuberculosis Hidden in the Civil War Diary of LeRoy Wiley Gresham by Dennis A. Rasbach
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Totally enjoyed reading this -- it is an excellent companion piece to my edited work "The War Outside My Window: The Civil War Diaries of LeRoy Wiley Gresham, 1860-1865." It gives the reader a lot more information about the terminal illness that LeRoy was struggling with, and which he did not know he had. Dr. Rasbach's input added a great deal to my overall work!

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LeRoy's journals are an important piece of the historical record of not just the Civil War, although they are exactly that.  But they also add a great deal of depth to the history of 19th century medicine, and without Dr. Rasbach's contribution to the completed work, we probably still would not know what the truth was behind LeRoy's early passing.

**spoiler alert**

While working on transcription and with Ted adding his very valuable contributions to the footnotes, we discussed LeRoy's illness frequently.  We never could come to an agreement, but he changed the ambiguity by asking one of his other authors to help with this mystery.  Dr. Dennis Rasbach has an extensive medical background and has a great deal of interest in the medical profession of the 19th century as well.  Ted had me prepare what I like to call "LeRoy's Medical Records" for him; it included his compliants, doctor visits, medications, treatments, everything that could be related to his health.


What he came back with was stunning, and is provided in depth in his book.  LeRoy died of what today is an obscure form of spinal tuberculosis, known as Pott's Disease.  Basically, he contracted the disease which became active, and attacked his body so thoroughly that his spine was involved.

I had no idea such a thing existed!  In my reading, tuberculosis patients would cough, usually with bloody discharge, and get sent off to a sanitorium to recover.  Or they would die.  I had no idea that it had other forms, although at a doctor's appointment of my own recently I found out that this disease is not uncommon at all in what we used to call "Third World" countries, like the doctor's home country of Pakistan.  He said it was not uncommon at all to see someone with Pott's Disesase, due to their spinal malformities.

LeRoy did not know from what he was ailing.  And we don't know the degree to which his spine was bent, just that it impacted his ability to walk, sit upright, and do some things on his own that he would have preferred to do by himself.  I can understand the perspective of his parents, however, and I do not condemn them for their choice.  They wanted their brilliant, spirited, loving son to live his life to the fullest possible, and to tell him he had a terminal illness would likely have extinguished his sparkle.

When my older daughter was very young, she had chronic/severe asthma that her doctors could not figure out.  Children do not test reliably for allergies until 7 or 8, so when she was 3-1/2 and had a severe episode less than 24 hours after an appointment when she was breathing totally clear was a mystery.  There is nothing more horrifying to the soul of a parent to be told that "someday we may not be able to help her."  And that was in 1990.  In LeRoy's era, medicine was still working without an understanding of germ theory or contagion, and the percentage of people that Dr. Rasbach estimates to have had dormant tuberculosis is simply hard to wrap my head around!  I can put myself in Mary Gresham's shoes... and from LeRoy's writing, I know deep down that she and John Gresham made the right choice.  They allowed their son to remain hopeful, even though they were not.  It was a gift that we can all learn from, I think... and I am grateful to have been able to take part in bringing LeRoy's story to others.